The Cox family has a pretty eclectic taste in music. Here is what we have been listening to lately:
Here are some reasons why we fail to understand our neighbors:
"Neither despise or oppose what thou dost not understand" - William Penn
We tend to fear what we do not understand. Fear can lead to hate and discrimination so we need to see our neighbors as created in the image of God.
People normally aren't self centered on purpose. The best way to overcome this is to start seeing things from your neighbor's perspective - from their viewpoint. It's called EMPATHY.
Failure to appreciate differences:
We need to learn to respect and recognize everyone's unique qualities. Our job isn't to cast our neighbors in our image but to celebrate our uniqueness. When we combine our uniqueness we win.
Failure to acknowledge our similarities:
We need to recognize we often share the same feelings and drive. Those things can often lead to competition and disagreements. When we open ourselves up and learn to work together, our similarities can fuel our heart for the community and see things shift in our neighborhoods.
WORKING TOGETHER MEANS WINNING TOGETHER
John Maxwell teaches that people won’t go along with you unless they can get along with you! It’s as simple (and as difficult) as that. In this episode, John describes the reasons for conflict, the types of team relationships, and why working together increases our chances of winning together.
Check out his 2 part podcast on building relationships:
John Maxwell is a leadership guru. He has helped business leaders and churches make the connection beyond what you do to being real with people. Basically- How to be good humans to each other - whether that be as an individual, business or as a church. Check out his five steps for making a connection with others:
Step One: Set aside your agenda
If you want to connect with other people, you must make their agenda your priority in that moment. Genuine connection isn’t about making sure people understand you; it’s about making sure you understand other people. Clear your mind of your own worries, fears, ambitions, and plans, in order to focus on what the other person has to say.
Step Two: Ask curious questions
This goes hand in hand with my first point, because the practical step for getting out of your own head is to ask questions that help you get into the head of someone else. Curious questions have a layering effect; they build on one another and help drive the conversation to new and interesting places. Curious questions also help the other person know you’re engaged with them and want to keep the connection going.
Step Three: Lean into the conversation
This is the mid-point of connection, and it’s where self-discipline is most important. Leaning into a conversation is NOT the same as taking over a conversation. Leaning in does not mean shifting the rest of the conversation to you and your interests. Leaning in means increasing your curiosity and adding in thoughts that spur the connection deeper. It’s renewing your interest in your connection with the other person.
Step Four: Make a memorable moment
Memorable moments don’t need to be manufactured, but they do need to be sought. A connection becomes memorable when both parties walk away with something positive to hold onto. Making a memorable moment doesn’t require a lot, but it does require authenticity on your part. You can make a memorable moment by zeroing in on a significant lesson you learned, or a statement that impacted you. It could be a shared laugh, a moment of grief, or a deep sense of community with the other person.
Step Five: Keep the connection alive
While it’s hard to create a connection, keeping one alive is considerably easier. It’s an intentional decision to keep the other person with you in some way. You might exchange encouraging texts or send one another helpful emails from time to time. Maybe it’s just the courtesy of remembering that person’s name so you can greet them and quickly reconnect the next time you see them. Do what you need to do to keep the spark alive, so you can build on it in the future.
Hope is here
At Hope Community, we believe that when you see Christ without the religious baggage you’ll find someone undeniably life-changing and worth following. We hope you see and experience Jesus through these thoughts, videos and messages.