Here are some reasons why we fail to understand our neighbors:
"Neither despise or oppose what thou dost not understand" - William Penn
We tend to fear what we do not understand. Fear can lead to hate and discrimination so we need to see our neighbors as created in the image of God.
People normally aren't self centered on purpose. The best way to overcome this is to start seeing things from your neighbor's perspective - from their viewpoint. It's called EMPATHY.
Failure to appreciate differences:
We need to learn to respect and recognize everyone's unique qualities. Our job isn't to cast our neighbors in our image but to celebrate our uniqueness. When we combine our uniqueness we win.
Failure to acknowledge our similarities:
We need to recognize we often share the same feelings and drive. Those things can often lead to competition and disagreements. When we open ourselves up and learn to work together, our similarities can fuel our heart for the community and see things shift in our neighborhoods.
WORKING TOGETHER MEANS WINNING TOGETHER
John Maxwell teaches that people won’t go along with you unless they can get along with you! It’s as simple (and as difficult) as that. In this episode, John describes the reasons for conflict, the types of team relationships, and why working together increases our chances of winning together.
Check out his 2 part podcast on building relationships:
John Maxwell is a leadership guru. He has helped business leaders and churches make the connection beyond what you do to being real with people. Basically- How to be good humans to each other - whether that be as an individual, business or as a church. Check out his five steps for making a connection with others:
Step One: Set aside your agenda
If you want to connect with other people, you must make their agenda your priority in that moment. Genuine connection isn’t about making sure people understand you; it’s about making sure you understand other people. Clear your mind of your own worries, fears, ambitions, and plans, in order to focus on what the other person has to say.
Step Two: Ask curious questions
This goes hand in hand with my first point, because the practical step for getting out of your own head is to ask questions that help you get into the head of someone else. Curious questions have a layering effect; they build on one another and help drive the conversation to new and interesting places. Curious questions also help the other person know you’re engaged with them and want to keep the connection going.
Step Three: Lean into the conversation
This is the mid-point of connection, and it’s where self-discipline is most important. Leaning into a conversation is NOT the same as taking over a conversation. Leaning in does not mean shifting the rest of the conversation to you and your interests. Leaning in means increasing your curiosity and adding in thoughts that spur the connection deeper. It’s renewing your interest in your connection with the other person.
Step Four: Make a memorable moment
Memorable moments don’t need to be manufactured, but they do need to be sought. A connection becomes memorable when both parties walk away with something positive to hold onto. Making a memorable moment doesn’t require a lot, but it does require authenticity on your part. You can make a memorable moment by zeroing in on a significant lesson you learned, or a statement that impacted you. It could be a shared laugh, a moment of grief, or a deep sense of community with the other person.
Step Five: Keep the connection alive
While it’s hard to create a connection, keeping one alive is considerably easier. It’s an intentional decision to keep the other person with you in some way. You might exchange encouraging texts or send one another helpful emails from time to time. Maybe it’s just the courtesy of remembering that person’s name so you can greet them and quickly reconnect the next time you see them. Do what you need to do to keep the spark alive, so you can build on it in the future.
You can't make people feel important when they are with you if you think lower of them. showing respect to others, even if they haven't done nothing to warrant it, is a paradigm shift for your neighbor and you and build a deeper trust.
2. Open To Shared Experiences
Life happens in your neighborhood - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Learn to live it together. Celebrate the wins. Grieve when there is loss. Mourn with those that mourn.
Trust is a hard thing to do, especially in this climate. Trust begins when we value each other, when we see the creator in every human. Respect and walking out shared experiences together will build trust.
As good neighbors, we need to learn how to give, but also receive. Sometimes giving is way easier than receiving. We like to give advice, encouragement, even warnings or set boundaries, but it's hard to receive those back. Learn to listen. Be open to change. Be open to learn.
5. Learn To Enjoy Your Neighborhood
With the craziness of life and all the busyness we sometimes forget to stop and enjoy what's right around us - even our neighbors company. Stop, Breathe, and Enjoy - it's ok - You're allowed.
"If you treat every person you meet as if he or she were the most important person in the world, you'll communicate that he or she is somebody to you" - John Maxwell
We are starting a brand new series on our Sunday Virtual Gatherings (SVG!). September 28th is World Good Neighbor Day and we thought it would be a good idea to talk about what it means to be a good neighbor this month (especially in this crazy climate we call 2020).
This week we look at 1 John 4 and how loving your neighbor begins with LOVE!
Things Everybody needs to understand about people
1. Everybody wants to be somebody.
We all want significance, to be regarded and valued.
2. Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.
The moment people know you care is the moment the way they feel about you changes.
- We need to learn to CARE NO MATTER WHAT!
3. Everybody needs somebody - Community.
There is no such thing as a self-made person - We need each other to accomplish our dreams.
We all need friendship, encouragement and help. Doing things together brings contentment.
4. Everybody can be somebody when we believe and understand them.
Belief and understanding leads to confidence.
5. Helping people is the greatest way to influence people
When we help our neighbors we are actually impacting our communities.
Hope is here
Welcome. We are honored you stopped by to check us out. Please, pull up a chair and hang out for a while. We value your presence and conversation. Feel free to message us any questions or thoughts you may have.