It’s easy to forget just how powerful our subconscious minds can be. We are often completely unaware of how our actions (or inactions) are affecting our lives. We may complain that things never work out for us, we have bad luck, or we just don’t have what it takes to be successful. What we fail to realize is that we are actually creating our own circumstances through subconscious self-sabotage. In order to overcome self-sabotage we first have to use our conscious awareness to explore our emotions and fears, and understand how they influence our actions. Once we have determined the cause of the destructive behavior, we can then take steps to prevent it from happening in the future.
What’s really happening when we sabotage ourselves?
Subconsciously, we may be frightened by a particular outcome or change, even though we say we want it. A lot of times the things we want to move away from feels safe and secure - even though they may be unhealthy. So everytime we make an effort to change or move forward, fear of the new grips us and we go back to what we knew.
Those who self-sabotage may also be afraid of what others will think of them should they accomplish their goals. They might not believe they’re worthy of the outcome, so they act in ways that will ensure their failure.
These destructive efforts are done subconsciously, so even the self-saboteurs have fooled themselves into thinking they know what they want. If there is any uncertainty in their mind, any doubt, any fear, they will find a way to make sure it doesn’t happen.
Perhaps this describes you? Have you sabotaged yourself in the past? Are you still doing it now? Are you not able to move forward with your goals, no matter how hard you try?
Fortunately we CAN overcome self-sabotage. The most important step to stopping self-sabotaging behavior is to recognize that it’s happening. We must develop a conscious awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
If you’ve been struggling with a certain goal and things just don’t seem to be working out for you, take a look at the setbacks that were encountered and evaluate the situation. Could any of the obstacles have been avoided by making wiser choices on your part? Are there a significantly high number of obstacles that have arisen for this one particular goal? If so, you may be self-sabotaging yourself.
A great way to get in touch with your subconscious mind is by spending time in quiet meditation. Ask yourself what you’re afraid of. What fears do you have? What uncertainties? What makes you feel uncomfortable about this goal? For what reasons would you try to hold yourself back? Using a journal to write these questions and answers can help too, because writing can help you to connect with the deepest part of yourself. It might take time and practice, but exploring these possibilities can dramatically help you to get out of the self-sabotage rut.
When we finally understand that we are in control of our own success, we will be set free from all limitations! By developing clarity and insight about the outcomes we want to create, and the awareness for potential setbacks, we can stop the self-sabotage and focus our energies on working toward new goals that we will fully support in every way. We will then look back one day and see that instead of being our own worst saboteur, we have become our best supporter.
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